desserts

who is d genius created s.t.r.e.s.s.e.d.s -> d.e.s.s.e.r.t.s? that kind hearted fellow definitely have not experienced it before.

what i know is the so-called desserts is taking toll on me. somehow realize that the change of watsoever is caused by it and not something else.

getting tired is part of it?

i've prolonged my life, or should i not?

How much I wished to be asleep now. Even after taking medicine, I’ve still been denied a good rest. Today I’ve been popped some rather silly questions by them, which either they do not want the answer or I do not have the answer.Felt kind of fucked up as I cant really tell them whats going on, what do I think and how do I felt. It’s a death trap that I felt I’ve maneuvered out. What is the point of answering when its not the objective of the conversation? Feeling threatened, it leads to believing that I doesn’t belong here, anymore.

Think deeply, today event had caused me to doubt my next action plan. But how much longer can I stay at such unhealthy environment? Things changed, and I cant no longer speak the truth to them. There is a split of direction, which I know I am not heading the same way. Much of the regret for my wife and J Jr. Somehow I think I’ve failed them. One of the time that I’ve acknowledged my wrong “calculation” and actions. I have no courage to face them. As of today, I feel that my world had crumbled down on me, by my undoing.

But anyhow, life still good to me I have loving and supportive family and dear wife. Thank you for your patience and standing up my attitude. Without, im shattered into million pieces.

leave the place or leave the world?

already hating this place for known and unknown reasons, had no direction and purpose to push on.

can someone please bring me home?